I’m A Celebrity 2013: 24 November
Shower scenes. Trials of the non-live and live kind. 90 minutes in Australia better than our cricket performances.
Trial: Cavern of Claws
After an altercation with a dragon* (*not a dragon) on the bridge, poor Joey gets shoved into a dark hole full of insects to feel for the 12 stars in 10 minutes. This involved a lot of squealing and constantly asking ‘what are you saying?’ and in the end he came out with eight stars.
Live trial – Critters Got Talent
The adoring British Public elected Joey Essex for this torturous enjoyment – who was clearly made up to have the attention – with 12 stars on offer.
For the first station, Joey had to find the punch line for a joke – what do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? – and recovered the ‘stick’ card from a crocodile tank. What do you call a sick pig? He found some oinkment. And so he won two stars.
Second: a helmet in a helmet singing ‘I Will Survive’ and Joey had to fill in the blanks – with the help of the others on the outside. He got one star out of the three.
Next: Alfonso was recruited to help Joey with his escapology. Poor sod was padlocked into a Lego box looking thing with three locks and Alfonso got six keys. Al rescued him from his soldier crab infested liar and so the total rose to four stars. And Joey needed a medic for a nip.
Onwards: Dancing and piano playing. With Alfonso guessing.
Vincent Simone takes a shower in very tight white shorts. Lucky the stallion wasn’t rising.
Matthew Wright gets a splinter that Joey Essex deals with.
Annabel Giles ponders why anybody would want to leave home and sleep in the jungle. Isn’t that for us at home to wonder?
Steve, Amy, Vincent and David become team captains for a competition – two teams would battle tonight and one tomorrow. I got a bit lost here. The first competition – Pink Vincent vs Blue Steve – involved sucking liquid from glasses to get a code to unlock the next one to get a code to unlock the next one with a code to unlock the winning bit. Still with me? These cocktails were horrific things – like garlic and chilli apparently – and the whole thing just looked very awful to do – and the pink losers had to spend a night on a bus, or something.
Joey didn’t know cabbage and lettuce were different. Oy. Vey.
Alfonso got sad and
did the Carlton dance was comforted by David.