Dancing On Ice – The skating spectacular is back!
It’s JANUARYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! IT’S BACKKKKKKK! YAYYYYYYY!! Or nay. Nay.
Already has been quite a year for Reality Television with judging panel chopping and changing mixed with the odd ice related injury! But this is good, it means we are in for a good year! Twitter’s excited and already flooded with ‘Team’ twitters and the like to show support for this years Dancing on Ice!
Tonight is the kick-off of ITV’s Dancing on Ice in which 15 will slowly (very slowly given ITV transmission) become 1 King or Queen skater way in March. Tonight, like last year, is the first of the two nothing weeks in which we select the 10 to dance when it stars for real two weeks tonight. One assumes that 3 will go one week and 2 the other! I can’t say I am looking forward to Louie Spence though. Blah. And those Macleans adverts are back – god help us! I’m not scoring this year because I actually haven’t a clue what I am talking about really. You’ll see that.
ANYWAY, what are we waiting for? It’s freezing, it’s half past six and we have a date with some dodgy costumes and even dodgier skating!
Oh and it’s the first professional routine of 2012! Huzzah. I wish I could ice-skate. Arse-skating is about as far as I have ever got. I just…can’t stand up! I don’t like it either. Oh it’s Lady Gaga. Strictly Professional dance anybody? Coincidence but we shall keep tabs on the rest! They opened with Born this Way anyway.
Sorry I can’t be a little more insightful – I have no idea what any of their names are. ‘Good skating’ is about all I can muster. And they love flinging people about don’t they? Like, a lot.
No I didn’t want to hurry through Christmas. I’m not a big fan of Christine either because I don’t really like that accent. Although she is good at presenting.
Here we go. Let’s see the Class of 2012. And the horrible costumes. And worse gags. Awful. Seriously, who writes these?
Must be time for a break – IT’S 18.47! *faints* BREAK. SHOWMESOMESTUFFIDONOTWANTTOBUYANDMAKEMEWISHIWASONBBC. Okay that findaproperty.com rap is impressive. Breathe, man.
Heidi Range and Andrei Lipanov – E.T skate
Bloody hell she’s GOOD! The lifts and swings are first class for her first time out live on the ice. Balanced and poised. Looking like she owns the ice. Nice lines and a really great first skate.
This is where the nice man helps me out with technical stuff.
Judges scores = Louie 4.5, Robin 4.5, Katarina 3.5 = 12.5/30
Clearly I am not good at judging. We will leave the scores for this year.
Mark Rhodes and Frankie – I’m Still Standing
Oh get a surname. It’ll be alright on the night? Well it wasn’t in the afternoon but we shall see. Iconic Strictly Jive! 2 out of 3 tonight! HALFPENNY/BENNETT FOREVER!
Very unbalanced and a very shaky skate there for Mark. He is probably glad the first is over now. Slow pace there and not really much in the actual skate – nerves. Ouch. But he didn’t fall! *cough* Todd Carty *cough*.
Judges scores = Louie 2, Robin 3, Katarina 3 = 8/30
These Virgin adverts are longer then the average flight lately. Best thing of the night, so far.
Charlene Tilton and Matt Gonzalez – Guilty
She’s very slow and Sunday stroll-ish. Looks absolutely petrified up there. Not really a lot of content in the routine but thought it brave putting her on her own for a few seconds there because she could have easily gone down. She has spirit though – let’s keep her.
Judges scores = Louie 4.5, Robin 4, Katarina 4.5 = 13/30
Oh shut up Louie. I can’t handle this for 12 weeks. IT’S BEEN ON FOR ONE HOUR AND WE HAVE SEEN 3 COUPLES! PLEASE ITV! PLEASE! FORTHELOVEOFGOD. Loving the first aid advert. The programme is that bad it drives people to need CPR? Bad PR?
Jorgie Porter and Matt Evers – Skinny love. Pardon?
Boring funeral song. Boring and unexciting skate. Yes there were tricks but nothing stood out as amazing. Nothing caught my eye really and the singer is warbling. Yuckkk. Who died?
Although she hit some really elegant lines though – very poised. Will be a great skater. Very light on the ice. Nice solo start too. Very nice start.
Judges scores = Louie 6, Robin 6.5, Katarina 6 = 18.5/30
I don’t like the .5 thing. It is so annoying.
Next week eh? Got to get through this week first! Having a real laugh on twitter though – everybody commenting on how slow this is and how we just can’t get into this. Anyway, I am convinced they tell them to fall and look like prats for the camera.
Do you want to get off the ice? No, but I’d like to turn it off.
And break. And fluff. And talk. I wore a dress last night like Andy’s shirt there.
Chemmy Alcott and Sean Rice – Raise Your Glass
Knew this song was coming. And that opening. SHE’S UPSIDE DOWN! And swinging around! Jeez, she’s brave considering. Back on the horse and all that. Rather a confident skate actually. Bold and brash. Nice lines and confident movement. My favourite so far.
Judges scores = Louie 4.5, Robin 5.5, Katarina 6 = 16/30
Andy Akinwolere and Maria Filippov – Moves Like Jagger
Harry and Aliona. Good tune. Needs a rhythm filled start. Got it. MOOOOOO-VES like Jagger.
He’s very confident isn’t he? Owning the ice and pretty confident when it comes to throwing Maria around. Lots of interest choreography in there which was tricky but he pulled it off. Natural musicality as well. Could go very far.
I don’t think Mick Jagger could ice skate?
Judges scores = Louis 3.5, Robin 5, Katarina 5.5 = 14/30
Louie is a terrible scorer. Terrible addition. Can he even ice-skate? You know, Katarina does look like Lilia Kopylova actually. She’s like the Terminator. Or the Matrix?
MORE VIRGIN ADVERTS? Is it that ITV know that the programme is so unbearable at times that we need a holiday?
Andy Whyment and Vicky Ogden – Walk this Way
I just think of Hilda Ogden…oh yes, Corrie!
DAD DANCING! Not sure if he is a Dad but this is it by definition. Laboured and stompy start. But he looks like he is having an absolute ball out there! Really disco-y and whacky but a few impressive lifts. Mainly the comedy element.
Do they just make up the names of these lifts with the nearest object?
Judges scores = Louie 4, Robin 4, Katarina 4 = 12/30
Oh what a night! The first show is done! 7 of the 15 have skated for survival! They now want YOUR votes so that they can stay in the competition!
So, get voting! Come on, we have to do something.
So I shall see you at 9.30pm for the Dancing on Ice results!
See you soon!
Posted on January 8, 2012, in Dancing on Ice and tagged Andy Akinwolere, Andy Whyment, charlene tilton, chemmy alcott, chico, corey feldman, dancing on ice, heidi range, itv, jennifer ellison, jorgie porter, laila morse, mark rhodes, Matthew Wolfenden, rosemary conley, sam nixon, Sebastien Foucan, sunday. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.